Sometimes I just get into self-defeating moods. No matter what I do, I manage to screw something up, whether intentionally or not. It gets interesting to look back on these times, even when I'm still in the same mood, to see how I'm intentionally making things worse for myself.

I guess that's the whole point to depression: justifying self-hatred and self-defeating actions. I hate to teach myself helplessness, but sometimes it's the easiest lesson to be learned.

After getting into one of these moods recently, I wanted to document it. I needed some sort of communication, but couldn't bring myself to discuss anything with the people I love. For some reason unknown to me, I didn't want to discuss my issues with my friends because I knew it would resolve them. How screwed up is that?

So I started writing how I felt, but that wasn't enough. I needed someone to see my work, someone to read it, and perhaps feel it. That's why I joined deviantArt: so showcase my emotions. I've been here before, but never uploaded any work. This account will be for my emotions, my other account will stay happy with just the favorite artworks and artists I love to look at.

~Mr. Cannonball